You Don’t Need a New Identity to Love Your Voice

I was recently listening to a podcast — and for the record, it doesn’t matter who it was or what show it was — where the conversation turned to voice, specifically to people who say, “I don’t like the sound of my voice.”

That’s something I hear all the time as a voice and speech coach.

But what caught my attention was the suggestion that, if you don’t like your voice, you can simply adopt a new identity. That you can “be someone else,” develop a new persona, and in doing so, change the way you sound.

And here’s my honest reaction to that: yes… and no.

The Problem With “Just Pick a New Identity”

Telling someone to change their identity — especially because they don’t like the sound of their voice — is not only unhelpful, it can be downright harmful.

It implies that who they are isn’t enough. That they need to become someone else in order to be taken seriously, heard, or respected. And that’s a really unsettling message to send.

What I believe — and what I know from years of working with people and their voices — is this:

You are enough.

Your voice is not something broken that needs to be replaced. It’s an instrument that may simply need attention, skill-building, and support.

Rediscovering Your Own Voice — Not Replacing It

The work of voice development is not about becoming someone you’re not.

It’s about becoming more of who you already are.

That means:

• Understanding how your voice works

• Exploring what your voice can do

• Learning how to use it with intention, range, and ease

When you do that, you don’t need to “put on” a different persona. You simply have more options available to you — and the confidence to use them.

Yes, We All Shift Roles — But That’s Not Identity Replacement

Of course, we all play different roles in different spaces.

When I’m teaching, I step into the role of a leader and facilitator — and my communication reflects that.

When I’m with my children, or talking to friends, or meeting new people, I naturally shift how I speak, listen, and engage. That’s just being human.

But that’s not about swapping out identities.

That’s about developing range and flexibility in your communication.

And that’s exactly what voice training supports — not changing who you are, but giving you the tools to show up fully, expressively, and authentically, wherever you are.

The Real Reason Many People Don’t Like Their Voice

Here’s something I wish more people knew:

Many people who say they “don’t like their voice” have simply never been taught how to use it.

They’ve never been given the tools to connect to their breath, find forward resonance, build variety, or understand how sound travels.

And so their voice doesn’t feel expressive. It doesn’t feel like them.

But it can. It absolutely can.

My Role as a Voice Coach

My job is not to make you sound like someone else.

My job is to help you discover and enjoy the full range of your own voice.

To teach you how to use it in ways that feel empowering.

To help you feel confident, connected, and clear — not because you’ve become someone new, but because you’ve become more in tune with who you already are.

If you’ve ever wished your voice felt more like you — expressive, powerful, trustworthy, engaging — that’s not about building a new persona.

It’s about learning to embody the voice you already have.

And that’s something you can absolutely learn to do.

Let’s get started. Book a call.

How to Become More Aware of Your Speaking Habits (Without Judging Yourself)

One of the most powerful tools for improving your communication is awareness. But to become aware, you first need to know what to look for — and how to observe it in a way that’s useful rather than critical.

Try Listening Without Watching

In a recent episode of the Diary of a CEO podcast, speaker and coach Vinh Giang shared a valuable tip: record yourself speaking for five minutes, then reflect on the recording — but not by watching and listening at the same time.

Instead, he suggests reviewing your voice in a few different modes — only listening, or only watching body language, or even just reading the transcript. This can help you isolate patterns and behaviors more clearly, without getting overwhelmed by everything at once.

It’s a great tool. But it’s not the only one.

Another Way: Observe Yourself in Real Time

You can also start building awareness without any tech at all. Just choose one aspect of your vocal delivery to pay attention to — and pick a low-stakes conversation to observe it in.

Why low-stakes? Because if you’re trying to focus on something new in a high-pressure conversation, it will likely distract you or throw you off. But with a friend, a colleague, or even in casual small talk, you can begin to notice patterns without any performance pressure.

Here are a few areas to gently tune into:

1. Pausing & Interrupting

• Do you pause while speaking?

• When do your pauses occur?

• How long do they last?

• Do you interrupt people — and if so, when?

These are great questions to begin with because they’re subtle, but they say a lot about pacing, presence, and respect in conversation.

2. Tempo (Speed of Speech)

• Do you speak very quickly?

• Are you slower and more deliberate?

• Or do you tend to hover around a moderate pace?

Neither fast nor slow is wrong, but it’s helpful to notice where your default speed sits — and how it lands in different contexts.

3. Musicality & Pitch

• Do you speak in a monotone voice?

• Do you vary your pitch — moving between high, mid, and low tones?

• Does your voice have a musical quality, or does it stay flat?

A voice with varied pitch can signal engagement, emotional range, and emphasis. Flatness isn’t inherently bad — but it may not serve every situation.

4. Volume

• Do people seem to struggle to hear you?

• Do you notice yourself holding back vocally?

• Or do you speak quite loudly — and does it ever seem to create tension?

Volume affects how safe and receptive a conversation feels. Too quiet, and people might stop trying to tune in. Too loud, and they might pull back or avoid engaging fully.

5. Filler Words & Nonverbal Sounds

• Do you use a lot of filler words like like, you know, or okay?

• Do you make repeated nonverbal sounds like um, uh, or mmm?

• Are there phrases or verbal tics you lean on unconsciously?

Again, none of these are inherently “bad.” But noticing them is the first step toward being able to choose when and how you use them.

The Most Important Rule: Observe Without Judgment

This kind of self-observation is not about fixing yourself or finding what’s wrong. It’s about becoming curious.

If you notice something like, “Huh, I interrupt a lot when I’m excited,” or “I tend to drop my volume at the end of a thought,” — great! That’s useful information.

What it’s not is a reason to beat yourself up. There’s no emergency. No one’s going to die if you use filler words. No one’s going to call the fire department if you speak a little too softly.

This is just the first step: noticing.

And from there, if you want to — you can grow, shift, and refine.

Because awareness always comes before change.

Want help learning what to look for — and what to do with what you find?

This is the work I love to do.

Reach out today.

The Subtle Power of Repetition in Public Speaking — And How to Use It Wisely

Repetition in public speaking is a double-edged sword. Used well, it’s a powerful tool for reinforcing key ideas and making your message memorable. Used poorly, it can lead to boredom, irritation, and even distrust in your audience.

Let’s break down the difference between helpful and harmful repetition — and how you can use this knowledge to speak with more impact, clarity, and confidence.

The Pitfalls of Poor Repetition

Some forms of repetition actually work against you:

• Repetitive inflection: If you always end sentences on an upward tone (often called “uptalk”), it can make your speech sound uncertain or inauthentic. Over time, this creates distrust.

• Consistent volume: Always speaking loudly feels like shouting — your audience will either tune out or feel overwhelmed. On the flip side, if you’re always too soft, they may stop listening because there’s no vocal energy guiding their attention.

• Monotone delivery: When you speak on a single pitch with no vocal variation, you “gray-light” everything — nothing stands out as important, and your audience may disengage entirely.

• Non-strategic pauses: Frequent, aimless pausing signals uncertainty. It can make you seem unprepared or like you’re making things up as you go. Pauses need to be deliberate — used for emphasis, pacing, or to let an idea land.

The Power of Purposeful Repetition

When repetition is used intentionally, it can become a powerful anchor in your communication. Here’s how:

• Highlighting key ideas: Decide on the main concepts you want your audience to remember. Then, each time they come up, reinforce them with a consistent vocal choice — for instance, by slowing your tempo or emphasizing the phrasing in a particular way.

• Repetition through movement: If a natural gesture emerges when you talk about a theme, reusing that same gesture later can help create visual and physical links for your audience. Movement tied to meaning enhances retention.

• Creating vocal motifs: Think of repeated vocal choices (such as tone, rhythm, or pacing) as musical motifs. When done intentionally, they signal importance and help your listeners draw connections between ideas.

Why This Matters

Your audience doesn’t remember everything you say. They remember the moments you highlight, the turns of phrase you repeat, and the signals you send through your voice and body. That’s why orchestrating repetition is part of your job as a speaker.

The good news? These are all learnable skills.

With awareness, practice, and some expert guidance, you can shape your voice, your movement, and your message to leave a lasting impression.

Book a call with me to upgrade your influence.

Engage your Listeners with Vocal Melody

TRANSCRIPT:

My name’s Aimee Blesing, and today we’re looking at how to engage your listeners with vocal variety. Today we’re looking at melody. Your voice is a powerful tool in getting your listeners to engage and want to listen to you. So whether you’re recording videos or speaking live, knowing how to utilize your voice is a game changer. Exploring vocal variety gives you tools to be more intentional when you speak, which helps people stay interested in what you have to say.

We can explore vocal variety by playing with pace, pitch variation, tone, volume, and pausing. Today, let’s look at pitch variation. Pitch variation, which I actually like to call melody, is about exploring what’s available to you vocally so you can express yourself in a number of different ways, and you can be more influential in your quest to engage people.

Singers work on pitch range and melody all the time because it’s not very interesting to hear someone sing on one or two notes, is it? People tend to be moved and engaged by songs that have interesting melody lines—by those power notes that a singer builds to when the climax of the song happens.

We can use our voice musically as speakers too, and the cool thing is, you might actually already know how to do this. Tuning into what we already do is an important step in building awareness of our instrument. So start paying attention to how you speak when you’re with friends or people you like. In everyday conversation, do you speak in a monotone way, or are you animated, free from self-consciousness? Are you naturally using melody when you speak?

To begin exploring the melody in your voice, you can play with what I call your vocal roller coaster. I’ll pop a link to my Vocal Roller Coaster Tune-Up below so you can get started with that. The vocal roller coaster is going to make you aware of all the notes you actually have in your voice, and these are available to you anytime you communicate.

We also want to understand how melody will impact our listeners. So low notes tend to invoke a sense of seriousness or sternness. They can also be used to create a sense of suspense or secrecy. Mid-range notes in the voice tend to feel more conversational, easy to listen to, and these are good notes for relaying information, for making clear points, and explaining instructions. The higher notes in our voice tend to lend themselves to excitement, building anticipation, and playfulness.

So between these three, there’s a lot to express and explore. And once we get familiar with them all, we can start to move seamlessly and authentically through our vocal melody every time we speak.

Start playing with melody by reading texts aloud, intentionally making choices about whether you’re going to use low pitch, mid-range pitch, or high pitch. See what feels most natural, and get curious about how this can apply to your other speaking situations. You can do the same thing with a speech or a keynote. Find the moments where you need to match a somber tone with some low notes, where you want to get an important point across with some mid notes, or bring some levity or fun with some high notes.

It’s important to stay within what’s comfortable for you. So high doesn’t have to mean ridiculously high, and low doesn’t have to mean living in vocal fry. Pitch variation is unique to you, so play with it, explore what feels authentic to you, and enjoy engaging your listeners.

Let me know what questions you have or what was helpful about this video, or drop back in and share how you’ve been playing with melody in the comments. I’d love to hear from you.

Remember to like, share, and subscribe for more tips, tutorials, and tune-ups.

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From Destruction, A New Perspective Emerged

I’m a voice teacher. But when I had my first daughter I destroyed my voice.

My labor was much more intense than i expected (I’m not sure that anything can prepare you for the first time you give birth).

I had convinced myself that as a voice and movement expert I would just know what to do, I was so attuned to my body that I believed I would just be able to handle it like a pro and breeze through it with a magical tale to tell at the end.

Wrong. The pain scared me. I wasn’t expecting it. I followed the advice of the triage nurse instead of following my gut and didn’t get to the hospital soon enough to settle in and allow myself to ease into my labor.

The only thing I had at that point was my voice. So I used it. I sang, I called out, for my entire labor and delivery - and I did it just to get through the experience - but any kind of extreme vocal use for 7 hours straight is going to fatigue your voice.

So for months after giving birth my voice felt alien to me. I felt like I couldn’t speak how I wanted to. I felt vocally tired all the time. It felt like I’d done something that I didn’t know how to fix. I felt broken.

But here’s the thing. Out of this experience, (which, incidentally, I did know how to heal), I had a realization.

There are people who lose their voice all the time.
There are people who feel disconnected from their voice, just like i did, all the time.
There are people who feel frustrated and debilitated by the fact that their voice doesn’t allow them to show up how they imagine themselves.

To me it felt like I had lost a part of myself.
Which made me think - For some people there must be parts of them they have never unlocked because of their disconnection from their voice. Parts that have stayed hidden and locked behind the voice they have constructed over time (which is how we all essentially build how we sound).

This experience woke up my desire to help other people find their voice, heal their voice, own their voice. To unlock a part of them that allows them to step into their power and own their message, their aspirations, their true values. To enable them to lead more powerfully, more intentionally, more authentically.

If you’re an executive leader who feels disconnected from your voice, I can help you unlock that part of yourself. It may just be the thing that allows you to unleash your full potential to lead.

Are Theatre and Professional Speaking Really that Different?

Recently I adjudicated at a youth theatre festival in New Hampshire.

As an adjudicator I was there to offer professional feedback on 5 performances over the course of an 11 hour day.

As an executive leader you speak a lot, you lead teams or perhaps entire companies, moulding vision and direction, and as such, you’re actively involved with communication all the time. I’m curious to see if what follows resonates with you…

Here’s a list of the most repeated feedback I gave to performers at the festival:

➡️ If we can’t hear you we miss the key story points - when actors do not have the skill or the awareness to know how to fill the theatre with their voice, the audience simply can’t hear the story. When the audience gets lost they check out. Audibility is key to a successful performance.

➡️ When your delivery is too fast we cannot understand you - Actors sometimes play with quick tempo as a character choice or for emphasis on specific lines. This can create humor and bring attention to key points, but quick tempo with no clarity is wasted energy because the audience cannot understand you. This requires a targeted warm up to make sure the points you make with a quick tempo don’t get lost.

➡️ Your body is a part of every line you say, every choice you make, every reaction you have. Don’t get stuck being a talking head - the audience is seeing the whole picture of you, so your body must be engaged in everything you do. Our eye goes to where there is movement, so when you speak, your body needs to wake up too so that we know YOU are the person we need to look at.

➡️ How do the stories and lines you say AND hear impact your inner world? When you invest in the story you tell and let it move you, the audience will go with you, they will invest more in you when you show the vulnerability to be moved. When you react authentically to what’s being said, the story of the play becomes more clear, more truthful, and more impactful, and you help the audience know how they should be responding.

Every one of these points applies to professional public speaking and presenting.

Do you agree?

Which one resonates most for you?

From Stage Fright to Speaking with Confidence: How to Work with, Not Against, Anxiety

Aimee Blesing as Claire in "Proof" Hackmatack Playhouse, 2024. Photo courtesy of Ben Bagley from BenBagleyMultimedia

The last time I performed live onstage, I felt an all-too-familiar wave of anxiety. It didn’t matter that I had spent years training as an actor, coaching others in commanding a room, or that I knew the play inside and out—when it was my turn, the nerves still showed up.

And honestly, it made sense.

🫶 It was my first time onstage in six years—did I still know what I was doing?

🫶 It was my first performance since becoming a mother—an emotional milestone.

🫶 I’d struggled with brain fog and memory since having a child—what if I forgot my lines?

🫶 It was one of my favorite contemporary plays—of course, I felt pressure to do it justice.

🫶 Two of my former acting students were in the cast and stage-managing—could I live up to what I had taught them?

🫶 And, after so long, what if I no longer enjoyed being in front of an audience?

With all these thoughts swirling in my mind, my anxiety wasn’t irrational—it was simply my body’s way of preparing for something meaningful.

The Turning Point: Working With Anxiety, Not Against It

Instead of fighting the nerves or trying to push them down, I took a different approach.

I named what I was feeling, acknowledged why it made sense, and gave myself permission to experience it without judgment. I reminded myself that I was prepared—I knew the play, I trusted my fellow actors, and most importantly, I cared deeply about the work.

The moment I stopped resisting my anxiety, it softened. It didn’t disappear entirely, but it no longer felt like an enemy. Instead, it became just another part of the process—one I could move through, rather than something holding me back.

This approach mirrors what psychologist and mindfulness teacher Tara Brach calls R.A.I.N.—Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. By recognizing my nerves, allowing them to exist without pushing them away, investigating where they came from, and nurturing myself with the reminder that I was capable, I transformed my fear into fuel.

Anxiety Is Normal—Even for Executives

If you’re a C-suite leader, the pressure to deliver is real. The stakes are high, and so is the expectation to perform under scrutiny. Of course, you feel anxious before a big speech or media appearance—it means you care. The key isn’t eliminating anxiety but learning how to move through it.

Next time you’re gearing up for a high-stakes speaking event, try this:

• Recognize what you’re feeling instead of resisting it.

• Allow yourself to experience the nerves without judgment.

• Reframe the anxiety—what if it’s just energy preparing you to perform at your best?

• Ground yourself in your preparation, your expertise, and the fact that you belong in the room.

Anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that you’re stepping up. And when you stop resisting it, you’ll find that confidence follows.

Are you ready to turn nerves into presence and power? Let’s talk.

Portions of this article were generated using AI tools, with final review and edits by the author.

I Love Ted, but Ted is Not your Answer

You cannot improve your voice and speech by watching a Ted Talk.

There. I said it.

A Ted Talk is a sound bite. An introduction to an idea. A brilliant summarization of a concept or tool. It is not a comprehensive, personalized training program.

A Ted Talk might give you incredible insight into the importance of your voice and how you use it, it might even give you a couple of great suggestions on how to warm up your voice. But this is a fraction of what it takes to actually create lasting improvement in your voice.

The truth is, you don’t actually even know what your voice is capable of. You don’t know what kind of an astronomical difference building your voice and body connection can make to your speaking and your life.

I’m talking about differences like:

🫶 building your sense of identity
🤩 building your influence and how you are perceived
🥰 building your sensitivity to nuance in communication
🙌 building your confidence speaking in any situation
🗣️ building the tone and richness of your voice so you can be easily heard with or without a microphone
👄 building your articulation so that you can be easily understood
💃🏼 building your enjoyment of speaking so that you can shift from dreading opening your mouth to looking forward to your chance to speak
👥 building your authentic connection to others
🏅 building your credibility so that you actually sound like an expert in your field
And so. Much. More.

A Ted Talk is a wonderful way to wake up your awareness of what is possible. But it is not a substitute for actual, targeted, personalized instruction in improving your instrument.

That takes an investment of time, energy, focus and the skills of someone who knows how to get you where you want to be.

It’s time to get serious about developing your voice, your career, your life.

Get in touch if you’re ready.

Let’s Talk Posture

Let’s talk about alignment - or “posture”.

We often have a perception that there’s only one “correct” way to hold ourselves - one idea of what “good posture” is. Usually, that looks like shoulders back, chin up, chest out. But this version of posture isn’t actually that helpful - especially if you’re a speaker.

This kind of rigid upright posture creates a lot of tension in the body, restricts your ability to breathe effectively, makes you look arrogant, and ultimately it really doesn’t serve you - in fact, it could be doing you harm.

The Withdrawal Reflex - hunched and rounded

What we want to find instead is an alignment that lives somewhere between our action reflex (that rigid, shoulders-back posture) and our withdrawal reflex (the hunched-over, closed-in posture).

If you watch the video version of this article, you will probably hear the difference in my voice when I’m in one extreme and when I’m in the other. Neither of those positions is particularly helpful - or healthful. Both impede how you breathe and negatively impact how your voice functions. This is how poor alignment can do you harm, by creating unnecessary tension, restricting your breath and voice, and making it harder to speak effectively - with optimal vocal quality.

What we want is a middle ground:

• where the shoulders feel at ease,

• the head balances easily on top of the spine,

• the pelvis is stable - like a bowl - not tipping forward or back,

• and the belly is soft.

In this space, we simply feel aligned and at ease. But it can take some time for it to feel normal, or comfortable, especially if you have been living in ineffective posture for a long time.

There are so many ways to explore and reset your alignment: yoga, Pilates, Feldenkrais, Alexander Technique, Clinical Somatics - the list goes on. As a Registered Somatic Movement Educator I work with a combination of tools, depending on what my clients need to find more balance and ease when they speak.

If you’re a speaker, or someone who has to be in front of people regularly, I really encourage you to explore your alignment. It might be one of the things holding you back from your full potential.

Let me know in the comments: have you thought about your alignment before? And what movement modalities have you tried that have helped your alignment? Reach out with your questions in the comments, or contact me to inquire about training opportunities.

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The Hidden Power Behind C-Suite Communication: Vocal and Physical Awareness for Leaders Who Dread Public Speaking

As a C-suite executive, your leadership is constantly under scrutiny. In high-stakes environments, the ability to communicate with authority, authenticity, and clarity is an essential competency. However, many top leaders find that public speaking—whether in front of an audience or in a high-pressure boardroom—can trigger anxiety, despite their expertise. The good news is, the key to improving your public speaking doesn’t just lie in mastering what you say—but how you say it.

Vocal and physical awareness—the way you use your voice, posture, gestures, and energy—can elevate your leadership presence, reduce nervousness, and significantly boost your influence. Here’s why it’s so important and how it can help you overcome the fear of public speaking:

1. Executive Presence Begins Before You Speak

As a leader, you’ve likely been told that first impressions are critical. In fact, studies suggest that up to 70% of communication is non-verbal, with body language playing a key role in how you’re perceived. (husson.edu) Before you even open your mouth, your posture, facial expressions, and vocal tone are already making an impact. Leaders who stand tall, maintain eye contact, and project a calm and confident demeanor are perceived as more credible and authoritative, helping to lay a solid foundation for successful communication. Even if the thought of speaking publicly makes you nervous, adopting confident body language can help you appear more in control, reducing anxiety.

2. Influence is More Than Words

While you may be focused on the content of your message, research shows that tone, pace, and non-verbal cues often hold more power than the words themselves. According to a study on nonverbal communication, leaders’ body language has a profound impact on how they are perceived in high-stakes situations. (pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov) A slow, steady voice, intentional pauses, and grounded body language help to build trust, capture attention, and convey authority—without needing to memorize every word. For executives who fear public speaking, understanding that non-verbal communication can carry much of the weight of your message can be incredibly empowering.

3. Alignment Drives Authenticity and Reduces Anxiety

When your physical presence and vocal delivery align with your words, your communication feels more authentic—and that authenticity can help reduce performance anxiety. Research confirms that incongruence between verbal and non-verbal communication (e.g., saying you’re confident while your voice quivers) is often a source of discomfort. By practicing vocal awareness—speaking with control and pausing thoughtfully—and aligning your body language with your message, you’ll feel more grounded. This coherence creates trust and makes you feel less like you’re “performing” for your audience. You’re simply leading with authenticity.

4. Clarity Under Pressure

For many executives, speaking in high-pressure situations—like addressing a crisis, presenting a board report, or delivering a keynote—can heighten stress. Stress often triggers shallow breathing, rushed speech, and physical tension, which can negatively impact clarity. Research shows that managing stress effectively leads to clearer communication and better leadership outcomes. (lpsonline.sas.upenn.edu) Vocal training and physical awareness techniques can help you control your breath, slow your pace, and reduce body tension, allowing you to communicate with greater clarity and confidence—even in stressful situations.

5. Culture Starts at the Top—Calm, Confident Leaders Foster Trust

As an executive, your communication sets the tone for the entire organization. Leaders who exhibit calm, controlled, and confident body language foster an environment of psychological safety, which is critical to building trust and loyalty in teams. When your body language is steady, it signals to others that you are in control, which not only helps reduce your own anxiety but also establishes a culture of trust and engagement. (lpsonline.sas.upenn.edu) Even if public speaking is intimidating, embodying calmness through body language can help reduce both your stress and that of your audience.

6. Effective Communication of Complex Ideas

As a C-suite executive, you are often tasked with presenting complex ideas, strategic visions, or navigating difficult conversations. Vocal and physical awareness can enhance your ability to communicate these complex topics with clarity. Studies show that leaders who vary their pitch, speak at a controlled pace, and incorporate pauses allow audiences to better process complicated information. (hbr.org) By focusing on the way you deliver your message—rather than solely the content—you can communicate complex concepts more effectively and with greater impact, helping to alleviate public speaking anxiety.

7. Scalable Influence—From One-on-One to Large Audiences

As your leadership influence grows, your audience may shift from small teams to larger groups, and your public speaking challenges may increase. Fortunately, vocal and physical awareness can scale with you. Leaders who refine these skills can ensure their message resonates across diverse audiences, even as the stakes grow higher. A well-controlled voice and purposeful body language allow you to communicate clearly, build rapport, and inspire trust, no matter the size of the room. For executives who struggle with public speaking, knowing that these skills can be practiced and perfected over time can be a reassuring path to growth.

Conclusion

In a world where presence matters as much as strategy, investing in your voice and body language is an investment in your leadership legacy—especially if public speaking makes you nervous. Mastering the art of vocal and physical awareness can help you increase your influence, manage anxiety, and communicate with clarity and authenticity, even under pressure. By focusing on how you communicate—not just what you say—you’ll be able to overcome the fear of public speaking and step into your role as a confident and effective leader.

This article was written with the assistance of AI and reviewed/edited by Aimee Blesing

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Let's Talk Breathing Practice

There are so many breathing practices - but can you use them in the middle of a speaking engagement? Not really. Here I share a very simple breathing practice that you can literally do anywhere.

TRANSCRIPT:

Let’s talk about breathing practice.

There are so many wonderful breathing techniques out there for settling our nervous system, helping us feel calm and grounded. However, very few of them work when we’re actually in the moment. If you’re on stage in front of a thousand people, in the middle of a sentence, you can’t just ask them to pause so you can do some alternate nostril breathing or box breathing—right? You just can’t do it.

So, I’m going to teach you a quick tool that will help you in these moments when you’re in front of people and can’t stop for a breathing exercise.

Go ahead and close your eyes. Picture something you love the smell of. If smell isn’t your thing, you might imagine a beautiful place in nature that you love to be. Now, when you’ve got this image really clear in your mind’s eye, breathe in as though you were actually breathing that thing in—breathe in the smell, breathe in the location—then sigh it out.

You can do this as many times as you like. But in the middle of a speech, when you’re starting to feel nervous and know you need to take a breath, you can easily take a pause, breathe like this, and no one will even notice.

I hope this tip is helpful for you! I’d love to know—what image do you use when you breathe in something you want to smell or a place you’d love to be? Drop a comment and share! And don’t forget to follow or subscribe for more content.

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Engage your Listeners with Tempo

TRANSCRIPT:

My name is Amy Blesing, and today we’re looking at how to engage your listeners with vocal variety.

Today, we’re focusing on tempo.

Let’s talk vocal variety. Your voice is a powerful tool in getting your listeners to engage and want to listen to you. So whether you’re recording videos or speaking live, knowing how to utilize your voice is a game-changer. Exploring vocal variety gives you tools to be more intentional when you speak, which helps people stay interested in what you have to say.

We can explore vocal variety by playing with pace, pitch variation, tone, volume, and pausing. Today, let’s look at pace, which I actually like to call tempo.

Tempo is about how fast or slow you speak at any given time, and it’s a very effective way to engage listeners and keep them engaged.

Have you ever had someone speak to you with a really quick tempo—or speak to you painfully slowly? Or perhaps this is something that you experience yourself doing, and you really want to work on it. Well, whether it’s consistently speaking fast or slow, either way creates one result—and one result only: your listeners will check out. They’ll stop listening to you and will most likely get frustrated.

Speaking too quickly means people can’t keep up with your thoughts. They lose track of what you’re saying and very likely can’t even understand what you’re saying—because you probably end up tripping over your words and running ideas together.

Speaking too slowly creates the opposite problem. People are thinking quicker than you, and they get frustrated and impatient waiting for you to get to your point. They check out, get bored, and stop caring about what you’re saying.

But here’s the cool thing: if you can temper your speech, presentation, or even your conversation with a range of tempos, you’re more likely to keep people engaged.

So how do we know what to use—and what’s the impact?

First, we want to establish what we would refer to as our moderate tempo. This is our home-base tempo. It’s the pace that’s easiest to listen to and to follow. Your moderate tempo feels comfortable and steady—like you aren’t racing yourself. A moderate tempo helps people stay with you without feeling overwhelmed by how fast or slow you’re speaking.

If you don’t feel like you really have a moderate tempo yet, that’s okay. When you bring your attention to your fast and slow, that’s going to help you find your middle ground.

Once we have our moderate tempo, we can then utilize our quick and slow tempo for emphasis or impact.

How slowing down helps:

When we slow down intentionally, we let our audience know something is important—that we want them to really listen and remember it. When something is high-stakes or meaningful, slowing down, even for just a few words, can be incredibly powerful.

How speeding up helps:

Speeding up or using a quicker tempo can inject energy, levity, or fun into a speech or conversation. You might use it when making a lighthearted comment or transitioning between ideas:

“Let’s move on.” or “Let’s look at the results.”

A quick tempo can also build momentum and excitement as you lead into a big point.

My advice is to use quick and slow tempo strategically—and not for too long. A few slow words can be more powerful than a whole sentence at a slow pace. At the same time, staying in quick tempo too long will make people tune out. Use both intentionally.

You can practice by playing with tempo as you read news articles out loud or by trying famous speeches online. Be curious about what your quick tempo, slow tempo, and moderate tempo feel like. They won’t be the same as mine or anyone else’s—and that’s the point.

I’m here to help you find your authentic way of speaking, not to make you sound like a robot or someone else.

As you read, identify phrases that feel important and experiment: Would a quick or a slow tempo help deliver this more effectively?

Over time, you’ll become more instinctive about using tempo to engage your listeners.

And don’t forget to pay attention to your audience—their body language and eye line will tell you a lot about whether they’re listening. Changing tempo might be the tool you need to bring them back onside.

Let me know what questions you have or what was helpful about this video—and drop back in to share how you’ve been playing with tempo in the comments. I’d love to hear from you!

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Let's Talk About Pausing

Let’s talk about pausing. Pausing is extremely powerful in speaking. It helps eliminate filler words and allows you space to breathe. It helps you find your thoughts. It also grabs people’s attention and gives the audience a chance to process what you’re saying.

Pauses can also grab attention if people are getting lost. We can add pauses for dramatic effect, for transitions between ideas, or to offer your audience a moment to think. They’re effective for both you and your audience.

Pausing can help you prepare for the next phase of your talk. It helps punctuate your thoughts and allows people to complete their listening so they stay with you. Think about it—if someone just keeps talking at you, you never have time to absorb what they’re actually saying.

Pauses allow time for your audience to catch up. They also allow your audience to replay what you’ve just said in their heads. So, they’re super effective for making sure people stay engaged and retain what you’re sharing.

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