From Stage Fright to Speaking with Confidence: How to Work with, Not Against, Anxiety

Aimee Blesing as Claire in "Proof" Hackmatack Playhouse, 2024. Photo courtesy of Ben Bagley from BenBagleyMultimedia

The last time I performed live onstage, I felt an all-too-familiar wave of anxiety. It didn’t matter that I had spent years training as an actor, coaching others in commanding a room, or that I knew the play inside and out—when it was my turn, the nerves still showed up.

And honestly, it made sense.

🫶 It was my first time onstage in six years—did I still know what I was doing?

🫶 It was my first performance since becoming a mother—an emotional milestone.

🫶 I’d struggled with brain fog and memory since having a child—what if I forgot my lines?

🫶 It was one of my favorite contemporary plays—of course, I felt pressure to do it justice.

🫶 Two of my former acting students were in the cast and stage-managing—could I live up to what I had taught them?

🫶 And, after so long, what if I no longer enjoyed being in front of an audience?

With all these thoughts swirling in my mind, my anxiety wasn’t irrational—it was simply my body’s way of preparing for something meaningful.

The Turning Point: Working With Anxiety, Not Against It

Instead of fighting the nerves or trying to push them down, I took a different approach.

I named what I was feeling, acknowledged why it made sense, and gave myself permission to experience it without judgment. I reminded myself that I was prepared—I knew the play, I trusted my fellow actors, and most importantly, I cared deeply about the work.

The moment I stopped resisting my anxiety, it softened. It didn’t disappear entirely, but it no longer felt like an enemy. Instead, it became just another part of the process—one I could move through, rather than something holding me back.

This approach mirrors what psychologist and mindfulness teacher Tara Brach calls R.A.I.N.—Recognize, Allow, Investigate, and Nurture. By recognizing my nerves, allowing them to exist without pushing them away, investigating where they came from, and nurturing myself with the reminder that I was capable, I transformed my fear into fuel.

Anxiety Is Normal—Even for Executives

If you’re a C-suite leader, the pressure to deliver is real. The stakes are high, and so is the expectation to perform under scrutiny. Of course, you feel anxious before a big speech or media appearance—it means you care. The key isn’t eliminating anxiety but learning how to move through it.

Next time you’re gearing up for a high-stakes speaking event, try this:

• Recognize what you’re feeling instead of resisting it.

• Allow yourself to experience the nerves without judgment.

• Reframe the anxiety—what if it’s just energy preparing you to perform at your best?

• Ground yourself in your preparation, your expertise, and the fact that you belong in the room.

Anxiety isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a sign that you’re stepping up. And when you stop resisting it, you’ll find that confidence follows.

Are you ready to turn nerves into presence and power? Let’s talk.

Portions of this article were generated using AI tools, with final review and edits by the author.